Negligee Nightmare

Oh-my-God.  No one will answer their cell phone, so I’m going to have to vent to my blog readers!

I have been working out of our home office for the last week since we are expecting so many furniture deliveries.  I’ve been on the computer all morning, so I’m still in my negligee.  It’s nothing fancy, just a comfy little cotton, polka dot piece that I slept in.

Ring, Ring……  My doorbell was rung about 10 minutes ago.  I figured it was the FedEx or UPS guy, so I gave him about a minute, and then went to pick up the package.  They usually just drop it off and then disappear in seconds.

NOT THIS TIME! There was a good-looking, well-dressed man STILL standing on my doorstep.  Let me please remind you I am a disheveled wreck, dressed only in a small negligee and comfy slippers, with no undergarments.

After multiple apologies for my appearance, he hands me a letter, letting me know he lives 3 doors down and is delivering our ACC acceptance for our new fence.  We then awkwardly proceed to talk about his kids, wife and life.  I feel COMPLETELY naked at first, but after talking for a while, I feel better.   I start to actually think I might not look like a crazy housewife.

Thankfully, after about 10 minutes, I think he felt my awkwardness and just blurted out, “well, it was nice meeting you.”

As soon as I close the door, I RUN to the bathroom mirror to double-check that I DON’T look like a crazy housewife.  I am instantly horrified.  My negligee is white with little purple polka dots and you can clearly see my nipples through it!!!!!!!  Ahhhhhhhhh!!!  Normally, this isn’t the case, BUT, being pregnant and all, my tummy is not the only thing that has grown bigger and more prominent.

I’m mortified.  MORTIFIED.  Lovely first impression.  LOVELY.

Moral of the story; give the delivery guys AT LEAST 5 minutes, before checking the door, because you never know when a good-looking neighbor will be there to say hi or deliver a letter.  Also, when nervous and basically naked, while standing at your door with a stranger, refrain from becoming Chatty Cathy.

Dear God, someone please say something to make me feel better!!!!!!!  I’m still in shock of the see-through-ness of my  negligee.  AND it’s only Tuesday…


4 Responses

  1. Next time put on a robe! Good thing he was an honorable neighbor. Always be safe before opening the door. Intall a peep hole.

    Auntie Lisa

  2. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but….that’s hilarious! Welcome to pregnancy!!!! You can always call your sister, if I haven’t lost my phone somewhere in the sofa or am napping I will answer (you’ll understand this portion better when you hit your 3rd trimester). At least Alexis you are goreous anytime and probably made his day!

  3. And I fear, he’ll be back! Hopefully not for “more” but rather, for the right reasons – neighborhood friendship. My fat old ugly neighbor once answered the door naked. A man. I was returning to him his dog that had gotten out and he thought nothing of being naked behind the screen door, I never went back to his house! Then I remember Mom always warning me about the neighbor lady who would prance around in her see through negligees. I think she was usually “the divorcee on the block” but, you know… oh so funny, Alexis! You are beautiful always so you haven’t anything to worry about. Love your stories!

  4. i have yet to read a post of yours and not laugh or smile!! your personality just glows through your writing! don’t worry.. i’m sure he was too busy thinking he now has a hot new neighbor and didn’t bother looking south of your neck 🙂 i have a pink bath robe handy in case anyone ever rings our doorbell in the morning. heck we hardly ever have anyone at our door. when i graduated in december, jeff’s parents sent a bouquet of flowers to the house.. i was home alone and someone rang the doorbell.. i was able to sneak a peek and saw a big scary looking man.. i was SUPER scared!! he started pounding on the door and ringing the doorbell over and over (i think he saw me look out the window). i called my brother telling him someone was at my door. well he was nowhere close to our neighborhood so i called jeff.. and he was like “yeah the guy just called me. he was there to deliver flowers.” omg.. i was so embarrassed. moral of the story: yes be cautious when someone is at the door but you never know if a pleasant surprise is waiting outside (ie. hot neighbor) 🙂 hehe.

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